Flashfiction results!! (Week 13)

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Last week we had such a great prompt for passion and lust. It was wicked fun. I wanted to try to tap into another side of passion in the human condition, the pulling and tearing that comes with conflict and surrender and boy, did y’all step up to the plate and hit it out of the park.

 

First up, Cecily @bonneycecily-Thank you for being the first to post. It eased my judge’s mind that my prompt was not totally lame. I loved her body language. She slowly moves towards him until she’s a whisper away showing her surrender. And although you used surrender with her words , I feel it’s his surrender in the end that impacts the reader. Thank you.

 

Second up, chinchin.unicorn @chinchinunicorn –Your choice of descriptive words set such a tone for this piece; staring, watching, judging, brace, tight, glare, escape. That first paragraph sets the stage perfectly. I love that you have the family ancestors silently standing witness. And the romantic in me felt the shattering impact of the realization that there will be no surrender. Well done. Thank you.

 

Next up, Melissa Gardener @smalltownchicka – I loooved the sweetheart feel of this piece, the way he helps her see that it’s okay to give in. And although you use surrender earlier in the piece I can feel her surrender as his mouth covers hers. This is a beautiful window looking into a sweet passion. Thank you.

 

And our Fourth gracious entry is Jennifer Garcia itlnbrt @jennifgarcia- It was so tempting to grant you another 200 words just to see what the motivations of Mr. Walter actually were. There is the impact of not knowing if she will or should surrender to his pressings. It left the reader off balanced and unsettled which can be a very powerful dynamic used by the writer to draw in and hold captive the reading audience. Well done. Thank you.

 

Thanks to each one of you. It was a true joy to participate in this one.

And the winner is *tears open envelope* chinchin.unicorn. *throws confetti*

It was heartbreakingly well written. Thank you for sharing it with us. Now for those who want to stick around, I am posting my entry below just for grins. Thanks again to each of you.

 

Dusty Britches @dustybritches 200 Words

Portraits, 6:30- please I run up the museum steps at 6:33, my heart pounding. I round the corner to the Portraits Gallery and see him standing dejectedly along the far wall. “Stephen, what are you doing? You’re going to be late getting out of the city.” “Can’t go without you,” he says as he wraps himself around me caging me in. “I can’t sit across from him and play happy family,” I spit out. He pulls back with a shocked, ashen face. “Do you still love him?” “No, no, but I’m humiliated, Stephen. How can I ever go to your parent’s house again?” He lifts my chin, catching my eye. “Tucked up against me. My brother’s a fool for letting you go but I’ll be damned if I let you slip away. I love you, B. You’re my best friend. It’s always been you for me, always.” He kisses me tenderly, worshipfully, and my heart melts in surrender. “l love you,” I whisper against his lips. “Marry me,” he whispers back. With a watery smile, I nod “Yes”. He mirrors my smile, pulling me under his arm. “Good, now let’s go tell Mom and Pops they get to keep you.”

 

Great job, everyone! Sorry about the delays – I’ve been under the weather, and tonight is the first night of Passover!

chinchin.unicorn, Please DM me on Twitter for instructions for picking a prompt. I’d like to post it tomorrow if we get it together in time. ❤

 

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